Adventure?

November Quote Board

Mum and Dad had been on a day trip to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary and came back all buzzed about the animals and wildlife and $11 million mansions at Fig Tree Pocket. Anyway part of the debrief went like this:

Dad: 'Oh and they had Sheep Dog trials as well!'
Me: 'Man those dogs
seem to be constantly on trial don't you reckon?'
Dad: 'Yeah, and they are
always guilty.'

Me: 'My butt is really hurting... do you reckon it's from eating too much salt?'
Dad: 'Yeah you have salt-arse.'

'I got some drugs to make me docile and then my hands started going floppy and numb.' ~ Lauren describing her delusion drug induced study period.

'You're not a tart, you're just proactive.' ~ Anna.

'At this point I should make something clear: I am not a smoker. No, when it comes to the inhalation of addictive and toxic substances, snuff is my poising - and I take it in short, floury bursts, out of an antique snuff box, sitting in my library, wrapped in a dressing gown, listening to Chopin and drinking gin, while a basset hound called Rupert frolics in the background and makes merry with the drapery.' ~ Aaron Timms in the SMH... random but a very funny article indeed.

'I've waited hours for this... I've made myself feel sick...' ~ The Cure, Close to Me.

'I have unresolved desirability issues surrounding curly haired men.' ~ Anna

'So I have a bachelors degree but currently I work as a Photocopier. It's really quite challenging actually, I didn't take the intro course in first year uni.' ~ Anna

'Work-hot: A person who may or may not be hot but is the most attractive person at work so you lust after him/her.' ~ Cosmo

'My work-hot is leaving!' ~ Anna

Tyson: 'So how long have you been sleeping naked?'
Kath: 'Since Boarding School.'
Tyson: 'Even in
winter?' ~ All my Friends are Leaving Brisbane.

'I'm not a bad person but fuck I'm loose.' ~ Facebook group.

'See on the map it will say "waterhole"... but really it should say "hole" and in brackets "may or may not be water".' ~ Jon Muir, Australian Explorer on Enough Rope.

'Are you using pivot tables... man I love those things! So easy to adjust. I still remember my first time... with a pivot table.' ~ John

'What's a gumboot, I thought it was something Haribo made.' ~ Micheal (p.s. I think you know know that I gumboot is a wellington, not a lolly!)

'There is nothing inherently wrong or bad about the collateralized debt obligation or any of it's financial relatives.' ~ Investopedia.

'You're all refined and shit.' ~ Cam

This next one happened just the other day when I was working at Roger David... quietly minding my own business and scanning away...

Store Manager: 'I was so glad not to be working on Wednesday last week,
the PM was here at Garden City for something and I would have punched him if I had seen him I reckon...'
My Superviser: 'Oh, John Howard... why is that?'
Store Manager: 'Oh you know... he just has those eyebrows... and you know... he is so small and stuff and you know... he is just gross...'
My manager: 'Oh yeah...'
Store Manager: 'Yeah that is the problem with Australia you know... people just aren't educated.'

Lastly... this one didn't actually happen in November... but many many years ago... I was shopping down at Chermside and the following exchange happened in Lorna Jane...

Shop Assistant: 'Wow, they are really cool earrings! So this one says
'Holly'.... what does the other one say? Oh.... 'wood'! So is that your
name? Holly Wood? That is sooooo cool!'
(me:
yeah Holly Wood is totally my name dipshit!)

Bwahahahahha... awesome month! XOXO

posted by Jess @ 2:40 PM